Pros and cons and things.

Please don't ask me why I want to come home. So many 'pros and cons' lists, and I still can't articulate it clearly enough. Except maybe to say this;

I left Sydney because I needed something to change. I needed to know if I could do it, if I could cross the world by myself, travel by myself, sleep by myself, make decisions by myself, just generally, BE by myself.

I left Sydney so focussed on leaving. I never considered that I would have to stop somewhere, I would have to live somewhere, start again, house hunt, job hunt, make new friends. I just wanted to leave, to travel, to go.

I can be alone. I have done it.
There is nothing wrong with not enjoying being alone. I don't want to start again, I don't want to travel alone. I don't want to make new friends and find a house and make my way in this city alone. I can, but I don't want to.

I miss my home. I miss my friends. I miss Grant. I miss Ringo.

And I think I just want to go home.