Sam, my therapist, said to me that human emotions are like listening to music through headphones.
Some people have their headphones turned up so loud that it drowns out everything else. It overwhelms every other sense, and makes it difficult to focus on anything except for the music. Whether the emotional music you are listening to is happiness, grief, anger, or love, if the music is too loud, it needs to be turned down.
Some people's music isn't loud or clear at all. Maybe they spend a lot of time trying to figure out what emotional music they are listening to. Maybe they aren't listening at all. This doesn't mean they don't have feelings, it just means they don't 'hear' them the same way.
I am definitely a 'loud headphones' person. This isn't necessarily a negative or positive trait, it is just the way I am. What Sam has taught me, and what I am continuing to teach myself, is that sometimes it's ok to just turn the music down a bit.
For the last few days my headphones have been finely tuned to playlist somewhat resembling this:
Are you getting the idea? Basically, a lonely, sad and homesick bunch of songs which are good for moping and crying to.
What Sam would say, (I think) is that it is okay to feel lonely. It is okay to miss my friends and it is okay to have doubts. He would tell me to allow myself to feel these things. Give myself some time to experience how I feel, cry if I need to, have an emo moment, listen to The Smiths and drink a bottle of wine. But don't let the headphones be turned up so loud that I can't hear/feel anything else. Listen to the sad and lonely music for a little while, and then turn it down.
I hope I am not losing you in the analogy here, because when Sam says it, it makes so much sense.
I'm still lonely, and I'm still sad. I still miss my friends, and there is a part of me that just wants to go home and hug my mum. But instead of giving into it, I'm just gonna turn the music down a bit, and maybe intersperse the playlist with a couple of more positive songs.
Paris - Friendly Fires
No Particular Place to Go - Chuck Berry
I'll let you know when I've booked my next train ticket :)
Some people have their headphones turned up so loud that it drowns out everything else. It overwhelms every other sense, and makes it difficult to focus on anything except for the music. Whether the emotional music you are listening to is happiness, grief, anger, or love, if the music is too loud, it needs to be turned down.
Some people's music isn't loud or clear at all. Maybe they spend a lot of time trying to figure out what emotional music they are listening to. Maybe they aren't listening at all. This doesn't mean they don't have feelings, it just means they don't 'hear' them the same way.
I am definitely a 'loud headphones' person. This isn't necessarily a negative or positive trait, it is just the way I am. What Sam has taught me, and what I am continuing to teach myself, is that sometimes it's ok to just turn the music down a bit.
For the last few days my headphones have been finely tuned to playlist somewhat resembling this:
What Sam would say, (I think) is that it is okay to feel lonely. It is okay to miss my friends and it is okay to have doubts. He would tell me to allow myself to feel these things. Give myself some time to experience how I feel, cry if I need to, have an emo moment, listen to The Smiths and drink a bottle of wine. But don't let the headphones be turned up so loud that I can't hear/feel anything else. Listen to the sad and lonely music for a little while, and then turn it down.
I hope I am not losing you in the analogy here, because when Sam says it, it makes so much sense.
I'm still lonely, and I'm still sad. I still miss my friends, and there is a part of me that just wants to go home and hug my mum. But instead of giving into it, I'm just gonna turn the music down a bit, and maybe intersperse the playlist with a couple of more positive songs.
Paris - Friendly Fires
No Particular Place to Go - Chuck Berry
I'll let you know when I've booked my next train ticket :)
No comments:
Post a Comment